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Cupcakes
Have you ever seen the face of a 20-month-old baby who was just told that they cannot have a buttercream frosted chocolate cupcake with rainbow sprinkles for dinner instead of the chicken, broccoli, and peas on their plate? I have. And it’s not pretty. First, there’s the wide-open-holding-the-breath-until-their-lips-turn-blue view of the tonsils. I was able…
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The Clean Up Game
Have you every played the clean up game? No, not that one. The other one. It’s the one where you follow your nineteen-month-old baby around the house, picking up things along the way and putting them back wherever they go. I play this game a lot. Let me tell you, it’s a lot of fun…
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Windex
I mopped the floor with windex because that’s what you’re supposed to do. It made the wood a little shinier and I liked it. I don’t normally use windex on the floors because I don’t normally mop them. I’m talking pieces of thinly sliced strawberries and cucumbers stuck underneath the dining room table (I have…
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March 6th
The sky was sobbing as I drove home from work. As I sat in traffic, I called my father. I hadn’t talked to him in long a while. I also called my brother. My mother died eighteen years ago today. He was just a kid. Sixteen years old. She was fifty years young. It was…
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A Stream of Consciousness Poem in the Style of my One and a Half Year Old Baby: Part Deux
Mama Hi mama Baby Hi baby Dada Bye dada Bye mama Bye More Dat Book book Dat No! Nooooo! Dis Munyumanom Hi doggie Hi baby Tummy Diaper No… Me Me Mama no! Hi dada Hi Up up Off Hi baby Me Mine
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A Stream of Consciousness Poem in the Style of my One and a Half Year Old Baby
Mama Dada Doggie Uh-Oh! Goodbye doggie Bye Dada Baby Baby More No! No! Book book This Mama Me Up down Hot Garbage Diaper Bye bye Mama Mama No bye Dada Baby This Girl Uh-oh! Cream cheese Book book No! More Me Baby Mama
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Golden Rounds
The other day, my four year old daughter was eating some golden round crackers straight out of the box. In a flourish of joy and excitement, she swung her arm in an upward motion and the entire box spilled upside down and onto the kitchen floor. Like in a slow motion movie, I watched with…
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A Long Day
It started with a baby babbling blissfully in her crib and ended with a four year old postponing bedtime for the Nth time by changing out of her pink dress with a tulle skirt into her forest green velvet dress with a zipper up the back. In between those two events was packing up an…
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Zoinks!
There’s a perfect word out there for when everything is wrong and nothing is right. The word is, “Zoinks!” Next time you get home from the grocery store and realize you forgot to buy milk or eggs or cream of tartar, try saying, “Zoinks!” I guarantee when you do, you’ll feel so much better! Or…
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We All Scream For Ice Cream
It was one of those Saturday afternoons where a visit to the playground and the local ice cream store seemed like the perfect plan. The only problem was that we didn’t check the forecast before we left the house, and it turned out that rain was imminent. We decided to chance it and see how…